“Do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?" Romans 2:4

I’ll be completely honest, it would be easy for me to come before you and tell you all about the work our students are doing in the school. There are countless stories of the boldness and the courage the Lord has given our teenagers to share the Gospel and pursue their peers. I could talk about God breaking the hearts of men around me over their sin. I could talk about how there are over 8 coaches and teachers coming together and starting a study in the near future. 

BUT what the Lord wants me to talk about is a recent part of my life where I struggled quite a bit. This past January and February was probably the hardest part of my marriage in the past 10 years. It was the most I have struggled as a Father, a leader, and shepherd over my family. During these 2 months I traded in Church for sports and exchanged scripture for worldly wins. I started drawing back from people, and if you know me I truly love people. I mean I GENUIENLY love you, knowing you, your family, and I absolutely desire relation with people. But I didn’t during these months. I saw people (and some of you in this church, that I have already apologized to) as boxes to be checked. Or even sometimes as ‘in my way’ of the next thing I had to do. 

I was failing my family, and my wife. She is a good woman. A woman that has always loved

Christ, righteousness, holiness and heavenly desires. She did everything she could to hold my family together and I did everything I could to pull the world into it. I just kept thinking “everything will change after February.. Everything will go back to normal after season is over.”

It didn’t. You see I was quenching the spirit. I wasn’t studying, I wasn’t abiding in daily obedience. Everything turned from desire to responsibility. Once season ended it was almost awkward. I kept trying to ‘force’ things to happen and they didn’t.

I cracked open Romans one evening late when I couldn’t sleep and the Lord lead me to Chapter 2 verse 4 “do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?” I rested on it. I let is settle. I prayed for my desires to change, and that God would intervene in my life.

A couple days later I went to a conference with Aaron and a few other youth leaders. God pressed in further on me through the guest speakers we had breaking me over my worldly desires. I couldn’t wait to get home. When my wife walked through the doors I told her we needed to talk. We stood in the kitchen while the kids ran around like crazy and I opened up, calling my desires what it was. Sin. My wife being the nurturing woman that she is tried to wash it away, telling me it was okay and not a big deal when I felt the Lord press in. I told her it's not okay and it is good to confess this, bringing it to the light and truly turning from it moving forward. She immediately teared up and next thing I knew we were both crying and praising the Lord for his mercy. Since that moment we have both had our desires shift and created plans for when sports and other earthly things come up again. Not only that, through further discipling our kids and being more intentional our children have learned more in the past few months AND have developed a desire for the word as well, OFTEN asking to “read the bible book” as my daughter would say. 

God is alive, he is merciful, he is SOVERIGN, repentance is for our good and his promises are true. God remains faithful even if we are faithless and his word does not return empty but accomplishes the purposes set forth. I am living proof of his promises and his mercy. I pray every one of you experience his mercy and for anyone holding in any earthly desires and unrepented sin to bring it to the light and call it what it is. Have faith and believe in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

All the glory to God!